Have you ever heard someone say, "No regrets!"?

Probably, right? And maybe you've even said it yourself...

When I was younger, I took pride in saying I had 'no regrets'. It felt like a badge of honour to pretend my decisions had been quick and easy to make without so much as a second glance in the rear-view mirror.

As an adult, I realise now that it's not so cut and dry.

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Here are 4 Reasons Why "No Regrets" Mentality Isn't Serving You:

1) Striving to live a life with 'no regrets' put so much more pressure on making the right decisions always. Perfection paralysis is a very real thing, and can basically prevent us from making decisions one way or another. In theory, this might sound like a good thing, after all, no-one goes into a situation wanting to make the wrong decision. However, 'no regrets' completely disregards the importance of falling down so we can learn how to get back up again. The human experience means being messy sometimes, but when we chase 'no regrets' we find ourselves getting stuck physically, emotionally, mentally and energetically. I'd much rather have a couple of regrets than never grow.

2) It can lead to people-pleasing, trauma bonds and attachment issues. 'No regrets' is a cliche rooted in pride... It thrives on the idea that we have never made a mistake and because we never have, we have a high likelihood of never making one moving forward. But what happens when we find ourselves in a bad inter-personal situation? An abusive romance, a toxic friendship, a damaging business relationship... Well, if we want to maintain the facade of 'no regrets', we'd feel compelled to continue tolerating our mistreatment so as not to show weakness. Let's not, k?

3) 'No regrets' triggers a damage to self-trust. Oftentimes, our intuition will start ringing alarm bells for us when it is time to remove ourselves from an experience which is no longer serving us. But if we had NO regrets, there'd be no reason to get out. Realistically, if we cross a scenario which we know has nothing of use for us within it our intuition will usually tell us to exit. However, our conditioning sometimes will have us hold the line: staying in the job, not accepting the travel opportunity, continue throwing money into a bottomless pit. While we can be grateful for lessons we've learned, we must also acknowledge that our deep inner knowing was protecting us all along, and glamourising the ignorance of that only breaks our sense of self-trust further.

4) It makes self-forgiveness, self-compassion and creating a safe emotional and energetic space for ourselves really really hard. We are human beings. We're going to f**k up sometimes. We are going to be tempted, or confused, or weak, or reckless, or negligent, or just plain dumb. And while (again) we want to be as mindful and conscious as we navigate the decision we make in life so as to avoid hurting others or creating problems for ourselves, sometimes, it is going to happen. Being able to give ourselves the grace of understanding, compassion and forgiveness, is what is going to allow us to share our stories, lead by example, and avoid making the same mistakes on bigger scales in our future. This is how collective consciousness upgrades and it is vital to our own evolution.

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As a side note, when we make a big decision, even a 'no-brainer', we can wonder whether we did the right thing or ask ourselves 'what might have been?'

Usually though, these things are just an opportunity for us to confirm what we already know: we did the best we could, with the resources we had at the time, to make the decision which felt the most right for us.

Would we change that decision? Especially when it was a conscious decision, mulled over with intuition as our guide, and arrived at with consideration? Probably not. So, in these cases; no regrets.

But sometimes, we will know, deep down that something we did or didn't do, say, be, or have, wasn't serving our highest self. It's ok to let ourselves off the hook and accept that there may be regret there. As long as we learn from it. That's the whole point.

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I honestly wouldn't change a single decision I've made in my life... But I no longer slap the simplistic label of 'no regrets' on it. Instead, it's ok to say, "That was a hard decision, and there are still moments when I wish I didn't have to make it. But for now, I'm following through."

If you are currently worrying about future regret on a decision you have to make, remember that 'no regrets' is a cage we lock ourselves into. If something is meant for you, nothing you do could EVER f**k it up. The Universe is infinitely more powerful than you and your decisions, so what is meant for you will not pass you by.

Plus, once the anxiety, the fear and the gravity of an unknown future has faded, the second-guessing will fade too.

So instead, of worrying about the consequences of what may or may not be, connect with your intuition. Experience your full-body-yes, versus your hell-no. Talk it out. Sleep on it. Journal about it. Act 'as if' you've decided one way, then try it the other way. Do whatever you need to, to honour the whispers of your soul. Then brace yourself for the moments of reckoning afterwards. There will be medicine within them, no matter what.

What decisions are you facing right now? Do you live a life of 'no regrets'? Has anything resonated or triggered here? Let me know in the comments.

With grace and grit,

Gabriella x